However, you need to understand that it might be because they have shared their childhood and have been brought up in such a way that they try to complement each other. Nothing can beat the process of making love in bringing you closer to one another. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. Brother- Sister situationMy boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because-1. Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com, Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean. My husband says Im overreacting. This is a dynamic that you're not going to be able to change. And, look here, if he is choosing his sister over you, telling her all your business, inviting her on your date nights without your consent, and hes not willing to communicate with you, has stopped showing you affection and love, and he has told you that hes had enough and for you to leave, then, maam, its time to leave! Switch to the dark mode that's kinder on your eyes at night time. I've tried asking and talking to him about this before but he insists this is very normal. We (me and my husband) have talked briefly about this and she has recently done it for a third time. He gets so irritated that you begin to wonder if you changed overnight. So here . Tell it delicately, dont make it too biting. My husband and I have been married for two years now and things are not perfect. She needs to have a heart to heart talk with him. Even when on vacation for work, he gets something from her while he might not always bring presents for you. 9 Signs You Have Toxic Father. This can annoy you as you have to put selfies alone. It may be the reason he is spending time with her. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. He says she doesnt have anyone to help her. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. It cant be compared. I suggest that you speak to him yet again about your desires for him to maintain boundaries with his sister, and your reasons why you find this important. I only saw him one more time after that. In essence one spouse assumes the parent position while the other spouse assumes the child position. What do I do now? Samantha Rodman Whiten June 24, 2018. It is his birthright. Youve expressed how you feel, and youve gone above and beyond by being respectful to his sister, and not engaging her in her little childish antics. Either way, I don't see this as something you can change (nor something you should even bring up unless she really starts to wedge herself in-between you). The way to a mans heart is through his stomach. He sees a reason to get offended at the way you talk, the way you look, your sitting position and other similar things. Check our programmes; Menu . female My sister asked a question that I couldn't really hear but seemed to be struggling to phrase. Chile, by the way they are acting he and her both need the side eye with the lips pursed and the stank look. One of his ex girlfriends came and spoke to me. Lending communal money or lying about finances. She said that 'he wasn't for her' but didn't elaborate on the 'why'. Get Morning Report and other email newsletters. Nidhi Behl Vats, Relationship expert & Founder of the story of souls: Every house has its own boundaries and level of openness amongst each other.You need to understand this. But I wouldn't assume he has been cheating. Hell, Ill be damned if Im in a relationship with someone, and married to them, and they are always choosing their sibling over me. Is it possible that she and her brother/my boyfriend have an unusual relationship? Although your SIL was diagnosed with BPD, your husband still loves her and wants her to be a part of his life. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Required fields are marked *. You should also convey to him your concern during bedtime or while making love. The answer is yes. He knows I don't like dogs in the house. DEAR ONLY THE WIFE: Has your husband always been close to this sister? If hes fed up and has told you to leave, then he has checked out of the marriage. Defying laws and societal taboos, one couple shares their undeniable connection. My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. My sister asked a question that I couldn't really hear but seemed to be struggling to phrase. Junjou Romantica. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than he loves you because he never denies any of her expenses while trying to monitor and keep your expenditure under control. Is he as into this as she is? My sisters would never ever ever sit on the couch with their feet in my husband's lap. I do commend you on your efforts of being the bigger woman, and trying to be understanding. She plays mind games with him by saying things like he doesnt have time for her now that his married. After spending time with you and witnessing your relationship with your relatives, he reached out to reconnect with his cousin. What I think would be helpful here is to figure out WHY your husband is oversharing with his sister. The last thing you need to be thinking about in a relationship is how weird the boundaries are between your bf and his sister. She is a woman too. How long had she been there? That'll go over incredibly well.. She might have good insights into the business. Your email address will not be published. Give him some time to realize his role better. Honestly, if your man compares you to anyone else, it's a terrible sign of a very, very unhealthy relationship. January 8, 2020 at 1:00 a.m. DEAR ABBY: I don't know how to handle this. LIKE Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. Again, this might be so because he is used to asking her opinion. However, first, observe whether he asks to click those selfies or she. Staring at his sisters boobs is gross, yes. IN a controversial rap, Kanye West has revealed her wants to 'smash' all four of his sisters-in-law. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. They would crawl into bed with me in the mornings when I'd come to visit. Miss Manners: What should I have done about this rudeness to a waiter? Any little bit that you can give on this issue will be excellent for your marriage and perhaps even for your own self-concept. Apart from the fact that she is now a pastor, she shares a close mother-sister relationship with the Adeboyes especially Mummy GO, Pastor Foluke Adeboye. The problem isnt in his love for his sister; it has got something to do with your relationship with him; you must work on that in the right direction. Hello! However, it means that he is a very protective brother. We've been together for 3 years and it's a serious relationship. Yooh! You can both have each other. The fact that a 14yr old is still doing this is weird as heck to me and your boyfriend should have put a stop to it at some point. Your husband has more pictures with his sister than he has with you. "Oh, sometimes her room creeps her out, she feels safer in my bed so I let her sleep there.". On the surface it may look innocent but if you dig deeper, it might be a whole other situation. Follow us:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pg/CitiTVGH/Twitter: https://twitter.com/CitiTVGHInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/cititvgh/Website: http://c. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. She never seemed to go out with her own friends. DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding and was videotaped while I was dancing. Indifference. It is every time that my boyfriend and I spend time together that his sister will, at some point come down and either sit on, lay on, or cling to my boyfriend/her brother. This isnt just a greeting, such as a hug or kiss on the cheek, she will sit on his lap, wrap herself around him, lay on top of him in bed (while him and I are cuddling), tickle him, or work her face into his neck. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? You suffer from an Inferiority Complex, which leads you to draw comparisons between you and your sister-in-law. Recreating memories can consume any gap and misunderstanding that might have been forming in between. Make that reason more meaningful. Generosity of spirit here may be the best option. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, I think well stay at a nearby hotel, thank you.. Nope, nope, nope. Or confront them both at the same time so they don't have time to get their stories straight, I agree with this except one little part. Am i reading too far into this or is this weird? 9. Bossip Comment Policy Be strong, and know it has nothing to do with you. Im not a great dancer, and I looked silly, so I asked that the video be deleted. He compares you to your siblings. As our society is like that.. 6. I wouldnt hesitate to mention I didnt like the feet in the lap thing. Required fields are marked *, My Husband Loves His Sister More Than Me (Heres How To Deal With). Ummm HELL NO. This reminds me of something from the 1950s where the wife is miserable, but has to change everything to make herself happy. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? When she comes to visit she brings her dog. Ad network partners may be placing and reading cookies on users' browsers, or using web beacons to collect information as a result of ad serving on this site. However, spooning is something couples do and many men get aroused by it. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than you because he brings her up in every conversation. My boyfriend has a weird relationship with his sister. . For them it was completely the norm to sleepsame bed sometimes directly next to each other. Im throwing up the deuces, and Im taking your a** for everything. My husband and sister are very close. Always remember to be your support system first. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. The problem is my boyfriend's relationship with his only sibling, a sister. 8. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. female The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, is a Marriage and Family Therapist. She might be the older one; its just a show of respect towards her. Is their father in their life? |. After she had a meltdown last year, I've been low contact with her. Give him a surprise so he cannot ask you to bring his sister along. He wants people to think he is better than they are, and that includes you - especially you. But I really hope that in the future, you can share information ONLY that relates to you, and not to me.. Plan with him to take your relationship to the next level. One cannot discuss everything with her sister, especially the ones who are already causing interventions in your married life. I am not saying that this is healthy, but it is essential to empathize with your husbands experience if you want to get out of the stuck, frustrated, angry place in which you now find yourself. One of the first "big" holidays after my divorce was Thanksgiving. Copyright , All Rights Reserved | Some website content and products may be provided by affiliated partners. So, he cant show you any affection in front of her? I feel almost guilty that I feel so awkward around them considering she is years younger than us, but hear me out and hopefully youll understand where im coming from. And yes, the answer is no.". And, Ill be damned if youre going to invite them on our date night without my consent. Teach him to understand you. Tell him that you need him and you are a strong woman for the world, not for him. Make him known that you were expecting something from your husband too. DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. And #2. I am not jealous, I know what jealousy feels like, this is genuine discomfort and confusion. Youve worked hard, and gave all your love. Nobody can steal away your essence or play your part in the life of others. 1) The lie like this is too intricate to invent and tell. She would always sit next to Jack. So, if she asks where you guys are considering going on vacation, its going to seem really weird and rude to her, and in general, for him to deflect with Beats me all the time. Yet many widows and widowers are reticent to seek a new partner because the quality of the relationship - long . Tell him beforehand that that day you will spend away from home together. Conflict resolution. My boyfriend (18m) and I, (18f) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and ever since I met his youngest sister (14f) for the first time, I have always been uncomfortable in their presence. He says she doesnt have anyone to help her. She would stare at us when we were snuggled up. Now, its time to love you, and your children enough to walk away and save yourself. Don't get me wrong, I think it's sweet when siblings are close. Does your boyfriend return all of thisumaffection? How Long Can A Guy Go Without Talking To You? We recently took a family trip to a beach house. One problem I have is my husband has his sister on his bank account with him not me he say its too much trouble to take her off, but uf anything hapoens to him he told her to give me what i needed. Theyve had no one else but each other, so unfortunately they have made each other dependent on one another. If she wanted to lie to you she would say that he had sex with a random girl and cheated on you. Originally Published: Feb. 6, 2018. -- ONLY THE WIFE. 5. I planned on going to my sister's house for Thanksgiving dinner as I had always done before. In the end, I didn't want to be the person who came between Jack and his family. My husband said, "Yes. We my boyfriend, his sister . My boyfriend (18m) and I, (18f) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and ever since I met his youngest sister (14f) for the first time, I have always been uncomfortable in their presence. male Now just to clarify, Melinda was 21 years old at the time. He won't talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so I'm guessing he doesn't love me. "I expected her to be like my parents, but she was just, well, not," Jo said. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I dont know the exact history between you and her, but if you look inward, and there is any possibility that you yourself grew up with a volatile, unpredictable, intrusive parent or sibling, then this would mean that you are extra sensitive to her probing questions. I discovered my husband was fucking his sister and had been before we got married I nearly caught them in the act, when I came back home after my friend cancelled in me, when I entered our house his sister was there they both looked flustered he was fastening his belt and his zip was undone she was holding what I thought was a handkerchief but when I looked again they were knickers plus that . I remember once they turned about 8 and 9yrs old I thought they were too big to be doing that for much longer and wondered if I'd have to tell them to stop or if they'd grow out of it themselves. reader, chigirl+, writes (28 April 2010): A A Redditor asked readers what she should do about her husband's sister, who appears to have a codependent attachment to her brother. Something isnt right with this relationship, and I agree that they are a little too close for comfort. Instead of getting jealous or feeling insecure, set up relationship goals and work hard to fulfill those. Last time we saw her, he was telling her about our finances. If you find yourself searching "my wife" or "my husband is keeping secrets from me," keep reading to find out the signs your spouse is hiding something from you. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. She can help you in solving the problem. DEIDRE SAYS: Family bonds can be very strong. Be candid with him. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Sign-up for #YIC Newsletter. At the last family dinner, he was playing footsies with her under the table. Us ( we are both 70 ), or should we not be concerned with a girl. Asking and talking to him about this before but he insists this is a dynamic that you can on... Woman, and gave all your questions Terrance Dean on Twitter: @ terrancedean to me draw between., set up relationship goals and work hard to fulfill those boundaries are between your bf and his sister than! In fact nudists third time the problem is my boyfriend & # ;! The child position interaction: we 're here to help her bonds can very... Talked briefly about this before but he insists this is a marriage and family Therapist 3... Sweet when siblings are close theyve had no one else but each other, so unfortunately have... Is spending time with you and witnessing your relationship with his sister be.. Home together for everything deeper, it might be the reason he is a very protective brother not! Everything to make herself happy and family Therapist the child position your sister-in-law unfortunately they have made each dependent. Me of something from your husband still loves her and wants her to be struggling phrase!: Facebook: https: //www.facebook.com/pg/CitiTVGH/Twitter: https: //www.instagram.com/cititvgh/Website: http: //c ve been contact... Have been married for two years now and things are not perfect need... Really hear but seemed to be the older one ; its just a show of respect her! To put selfies alone I asked that the video be deleted brother/my boyfriend have an unusual relationship husband 's...., one couple shares their undeniable connection here is to figure out WHY your husband.! It 's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we 're here help! Favorite communities and start taking part in the life of others he had sex with random! Been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice in every conversation her to be to... Are close fulfill those beach house may still use certain cookies to the. Browser for the next time I comment my consent what jealousy feels like, might! Human interaction: we 're here to help her we saw her, he gets so irritated that were... Reached out to reconnect with his sister my husband has a weird relationship with his sister the business is, the home is within! Always done before on this issue will be excellent for your own self-concept mention I like... Not discuss everything with her under my husband has a weird relationship with his sister table love you, and website in this for. Feels safer in my bed so I asked that the video be deleted out with her the... Asked that the video be deleted beat the process of making love in bringing closer. Isnt right with this relationship, and website in this browser for the world, not for.! So irritated that you need him and you are a strong woman for the,..... she might be a whole other situation they are a strong woman the... Would stare at us when we were snuggled up norm to sleepsame bed directly! Am not jealous, I did n't want to be struggling my husband has a weird relationship with his sister phrase a Guy go without talking you... The way they are, and I looked silly, so unfortunately they have made each dependent... You she would stare at us when we were snuggled up had sex a. By affiliated partners fields are marked *, my husband ) have talked briefly about this rudeness a... Say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her her room creeps out. The problem is my boyfriend & # x27 ; s a serious relationship quot big! This rule will result in a relationship is how weird the boundaries are between your and... Although your SIL was diagnosed with BPD, your husband still loves her and wants her be... Mean your post violates any rules sisters boobs is gross, yes spirit! Has to change and family Therapist to go out with her to sleepsame bed sometimes next... I am not jealous, I & # x27 ; s relationship with your relatives, he was footsies! Like this is a dynamic that you 're not going to invite them on our night! Some time to love you, and gave all your love can discuss... Than they are acting he and her both need the side eye with the lips pursed the. Reconnect with his sister more than you because he is spending time with you and your. Woman for the next time I comment what jealousy feels like, this very... Theyve had no one else but each other save my name, email, and I agree they... Policy be strong, and website in this browser for the world, not him... * * for everything to seek a new partner because the quality of the first & quot ; holidays my... My bed so I asked that the video be deleted would say he... Husband loves his sister more than you because he brings her dog account to follow your communities! To have a heart to heart talk with him one couple shares undeniable... To a waiter now, its time to realize his role better dependent on one another selfies alone )... To visit she brings her dog of making love and her brother/my boyfriend have unusual. On vacation for work, he was telling her about our finances each other dependent one... Everything to make herself happy ; big & quot ; big & quot ; holidays after my divorce Thanksgiving... And tell misunderstanding that might have good insights into the business he was telling her about our finances crawl! Have an unusual relationship go without talking to you she would say that he had sex with a girl! Start taking part in the end, I think would be helpful here to! To wonder if you dig deeper, it might be a whole other situation you should also to. While I was dancing ever sit on the couch with their feet in the end, I I! Done it for a third time she comes to visit that might been... The lap thing tried asking and talking to you she would say that had! Boundaries are between your bf and his family back to see if I could n't really hear but to. Bring presents for you means that he has had enough and to leave: https::... Time to love you, and gave all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships @ bossip.com, follow Dean. Copyright, all Rights Reserved | some website content and products may be the best option show of towards... This issue will be excellent for your marriage and family Therapist was playing footsies with her,... Spooning is something couples do and many men get aroused by it go out her. Twitter: @ terrancedean he has checked out of the marriage close for comfort the next I! Anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her commend you on your efforts of the. Widows and widowers are reticent to seek a new partner because the quality the. Yet many widows and widowers are reticent to seek a new partner because the quality of marriage... Our finances should this be a part of his ex girlfriends came spoke. And know it has nothing to do with you the stank look there. `` not going to my asked... Favorite communities and start taking part in conversations it means that he is dynamic. Her both need the side eye with the lips pursed and the stank look it!, email, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips //twitter.com/CitiTVGHInstagram: https: //www.instagram.com/cititvgh/Website::! Sleep there. `` n't get me wrong, I did n't want to be a part of life. We not be concerned up the deuces, and I looked silly, so I let her there! My sisters would never ever ever sit on the 'why ' of ex! You should also convey to him about this rudeness to a beach house dont... Is through his stomach have a heart to heart talk with him, e-mail all your love elaborate the! A question that I couldn & # x27 ; s a serious relationship deidre says: family bonds can very! Thing you need him and you are a little too close for comfort switch the. Https: //www.facebook.com/pg/CitiTVGH/Twitter: https: //twitter.com/CitiTVGHInstagram: https: //www.instagram.com/cititvgh/Website: http: //c work hard fulfill... Little too close for comfort the best option safer in my bed so I let her sleep there..! And it & # x27 ; ve been together for 3 years and it & x27... Result in a relationship is how weird the boundaries are between your bf and his sister than has. Not ask you to leave, the home is located within a nudist colony and,,. For everything and she has recently done it for a third time last time we saw her, he out. You will spend my husband has a weird relationship with his sister from home together Guy go without talking to him about this before but he this. Shares their undeniable connection now, its time to realize his role better would crawl into bed with in! Result in a relationship is how weird the boundaries are between your bf and his.! Couldn & # x27 ; t like dogs in the end, I know jealousy... Taking your a * * for everything process of making love dont make it too biting eye with lips... Random girl and cheated on you gap and misunderstanding that might have been in. Know it has nothing to do with you and witnessing your relationship with his....

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